This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs over at AutismWonderland.
A few weeks ago, Norrin and I had our first Mother and Son date. It didn’t go exactly as I planned. But there was one part of our day that was especially tough. It made me painfully aware of how parents of typical kids avoid kids with special needs. When I talked about the situation with my friend she said, “Not everyone is used to kids with special needs. Sometimes it makes people uncomfortable. They don’t know how to act.”
If adults don’t know how to act around kids with special needs, how can they teach their kids? How can special needs kids ever be included?
Norrin is seven-years-old. He’s a big kid. His behaviors make him obvious. I see the way kids stare at him, how they’re cautious of taking the swing next to him. And it hurts. I wish it didn’t. But I’m grateful that Norrin is blissfully unaware.
These are the moments when it’s hard. These are the moments when I wonder if Norrin will have a place as he gets older. Will he ever be included or will Norrin always be the kid on the out skirts.
Then a friend told me about an encounter her son, Nick, had with a little girl at the playground.
Nick has autism and usually prefers to play by himself. On this particular day, he took an interest in a little girl while at the park. The little girl tried to engage Nick. She tried to get him to play on the monkey bars and to chase after her. And even when Nick didn’t follow her, she did not give up. She kept asking to play.
My friend explained to the little girl that Nick didn’t talk very much. The little girl then said, “Does he understand ‘Yes’ and ‘No’? That’s all he has to know to play.”
Well there you go.
I think as adults we sometimes over complicated situations. When in reality, it shouldn’t be so difficult.