This is a post in the weekly Autism Hopes series by Lisa Quinones-Fontanez, a mom who blogs over at AutismWonderland.
When my son, Norrin, was diagnosed with autism five years ago, I wanted to fill every moment with therapy. I thought therapy was the answer to everything. If I’m going to be completely honest, I believed that if we bombarded Norrin with enough services – he’d catch up. At barely three years old, Norrin attended a special education pre-k program where he was given ABA, Speech, Physical and Occupational therapy. In the afternoons at home, Norrin received 10 additional hours of ABA therapy as well as speech therapy and occupational therapy at a sensory gym. We took therapy seriously. We didn’t cancel, we were always on time, we never asked to cut sessions short.
Norrin is now eight years old. He goes to a special education school an hour away from home where he still receives ABA, Speech and Occupational therapy. And in the afternoons, he receives an additional 10 – 15 hours a week of ABA therapy. I no longer see therapy as a quick fix but as a mom who works outside the home, I rely on the therapists to work with Norrin and do the things I cannot do. I want to be Norrin’s mother, not his therapist.
And after years of having therapists in and out of my home, I’ve become okay with canceling sessions or asking them to end early so that we can have an early dinner or go out to errands or do something fun. I know that a missed session here and there will not make or break Norrin. Therapy is no longer about catching up, it’s about making him as independent as possible.
Yesterday, I received an email from our main therapist asking if we wanted to add weekend hours. Without even thinking, I responded no. And I even requested that we reduce the number of hours of therapy Norrin currently recieves.
There was a time when I wouldn’t think twice about having a therapist work with Norrin on the weekends. Now I wonder if it’s worth it.
In order for Norrin to become independent, he needs to be allowed to think for himself, to make mistakes, come to his own conclusions and solve his own problems. Norrin cannot live his life, thinking a therapist will be his shadow.
That’s not how I want him to live. I don’t want Norrin’s days and weekends filled with therapy. Our weekends belong to us. Our afternoons belong to us. I want time with him. So it’s time to let go a little and say no to more therapy.